The Oracle of Apollo Snippets from the life of Apollo Lee

Dec 31, 2019 - 20:12

Life, Web

Ready for What’s Next

Tomorrow marks twenty years since I started this puppy. I’ve left this version neglected over the years. For a few years, I’ve been playing around with a redesign. So, instead of posting on what’s already here, I’ve been fiddling around with that redesign. I never quite get around to posting what I’ve written. I haven’t posted anything close to as much as I could have. The quantity and quality of things going on here has suffered.

I’ve been longing for this space again, though. I had a whole fiction in my head that I had nothing to offer. I thought I could only post things that were disposable or that couldn’t matter. I’ve had the urge to reboot everything and start over again.

I held myself to an impossible standard I don’t expect from anyone else I know. I forgot that writing doesn’t have anything to do with whether your social media game is on point or not. It’s not about any strategy to drive eyeballs to anything I’ve monetized or advocated.

I’ve been working under the timid, anxious assumption that I had to have interesting things to say. Writing is work, though. It requires risk, vulnerability, and consistent effort. A writing voice emerges from the void after doing that work, not as a prerequisite. Getting good at anything requires time being not that great at it.

If I’m longing for this sort of thing again, the only thing I can do is show up and try. It’s not about getting it right. It’s about fucking it up and trying again. When you look at your projects and dread working on them, it’s time to change things. It’s time to make a calendar and take small consistent steps forward, slowly.

I’m not going to make any promises. Here’s what I’m going to try in 2020:

  • Post something here once a week.
  • Post something I’d bookmark, or maybe not.
  • Just post.

I’m excited to embark on new projects and revitalize old ones. I’ll just try this for a while and see what happens when I work with intention.

No Comments Yet

There are no comments yet. You could be the first!

Leave a Comment