Company Holiday Party
Company post-holiday party. Since I am officially an employee of my company, I felt obligated to go. Chinese buffet, nothing edible (except steamed rice) for überveg boy.
There were a bunch of speeches, followed by a “say-something-that-will-earn-you-suckup-points” speechfest, where one guy would give the whole “I can’t believe I’m working in such a spectacular team” spiel, except each one in turn pointed to another person, who told some heart-warming anecdote or story about what everything means to them.
I got up, stood for two seconds amid a chorus of boos (fuck all of you that did) and said, simply, “I broke my server again.” CEO guy was not very satisfied with the brevity of my speechlet. I didn’t get back up.
After dinner, everyone headed to a bar. I hung out until 10:30, until I realized that I have to spend all day, every day, with all of these same people. I split without saying a word. Nobody noticed.
On the way home, I analyzed my role in the big team. Every person on it is a necessary gear in the machinery. I am simply a very cheap and easily replaceable gear. My absence would not affect my company negatively, nor does my presence make the company more likely to succeed. I am a monkey – a janitor with a computer.
I don’t think I should go to anymore ‘optional’ company parties. They only serve to make me feel like more of a schmuck than I already am.